Sunday, August 12, 2007

What a day

Today was nice. SH stayed up until 5AM working on the dollhouse. I, by the way, was asleep by 1:30AM and had no idea when he came in. He spent the better part of the day working on the dollhouse, building an amazing set of stairs. I went and got a haircut and some stuff to cook for a family reunion we are attending tomorrow(today). We had supper at my parents house with my brother and his family who are in from Indiana and my niece (whom I love as much as my own children) who is going back to NJ tomorrow morning. It is now after 1AM and SH isn't close to finished with the house and it has to be ready to leave early in the morning. We are planning on working on it all night if we have to and driving it the 15 miles back to town pre-dawn.
My day went downhill quick when we were leaving my mothers this evening and I told my niece to give me a hug because she would be in bed when I brought the dollhouse back and I wouldn't see her again for awhile. She proceeded to hug me from behind while burying her face in my lower back. I could feel her shaking as she was trying to not burst into tears. I finally got her to let me sit down and she climbed on my lap and started crying. She begged me to let her stay here. She said she could reverse her usual routine and go stay with her dad at Christmas and summer and she knew her mom would move here if she wanted to stay here. I tried everything to get her to want to go home. "B, you have soccer practice starting Monday." "I don't like soccer I like it here with you and grandma." B, your dad will miss you." "I'll go see him sometimes I just want to stay here and go to school here." I know she will be so happy to see her mom and dad, she just really enjoys the more laid back lifestyle here. Needless to say by the time I left there I was in tears too. My mother and I kept her every day for the first year of her life because her mother had to work long hours and when she up and moved to NJ when B was a little over a year old it about killed both of us.
The day only got better when we got home because DD asked if she could go out on the river with her BF and two other couples after the reunion tomorrow. I told her I didn't like the idea and told her to talk to her father. BIG MISTAKE. He never tells her no. I just knew that when he heard that she wanted to go out with a bunch of 18-21 year old kids on a river that has a bad reputation for drownings because of the horrible current and the amount of alcohol usually drunk by boaters he would say no. I was so wrong. "will they be drinking?" No daddy. "Will you wear your life jacket/" Yes. "OK" Of course the boys will be drinking, thats what they do on the river. They will also tie inner tubes on the back of the boat and try to throw each other off by seeing how fast they can go in the wake from the barges. I think I am going to be sick.
Well it is almost 1:30 so I had better go help SH. I will post pictures of the finished house soon. Have a great Sunday.

1 comment:

kim said...

Okay, got sidetracked with e-mail.

This made me cry. As a kid, I WAS B. I spent a lot of time with my Grandma because my Mom was divorced and worked a lot. My family was poor in money--although I never knew it at the time--so keeping me was the thing my grandparents could do to help my Mom out. I was so attached to my Grandma that at one point I told my Mom I wished Grandma was my Mom instead of her. Which made her cry, and which I didn't understand because I didn't think it would make that much different to her! OY! I'm certainly glad that all got cleared up down the line. So I know that B means it when she says those things to you and your Mom; she really does want to live with you, where life is at more of a pace that appeals to her and where she feels safe. Sometimes our own Moms just don't feel safe. Which to you, Katy, I'm sure sounds unbelievable, because I think of you as the Ultimate Mom, and I'm sure B does, too. Kids know who love them unconditionally, and so she wants to be where that is. Oh, I so feel for her. Every time I left my Gram's to go back to school in the fall, I used to cry myself to sleep every night for at least two and sometimes three weeks. My Mom finally told me if I didn't stop it, I wouldn't be able to go anymore. I don't know if that's the way I'd handle the situation, but it did work :). Give B a big hug for me. One for you and for your Mom, too. It's not easy, no matter how you look at it.

As for DD, it will be okay. Even though she is a teen, you have raised her and sometimes you've just gotta take that leap of faith that the things you have said stuck. You certainly don't want her to resort to being a sneak! I just know she will be fine. But I also know NOTHING will keep you from worrying...because you're the Ultimate Mom. I just hope DD and DS know how fortunate they are to have you.