Decorating 101

In my quest to make the world a better place I am going to post some decorating tips I learned from my 2 years with boy who lives here but isn't mine (bwlhbim). Since he moved out, my own DS moved out and they took with them the 8 or 10 odd teenagers that stayed here often, I am working on fixing up the living room that bwlhbim used as his own room.
Now for the part you have been waiting for. I know you will want to try these out as fast as you can, so I will keep the tips few and easy to follow.
1. When spilling pepsi and /or something with red dye (Hawaiian punch?) in the carpet you can just move the furniture over the spot and it will disappear, on its own with no help from a carpet cleaner.
2. To make sure no one complains too much you need to dust something every month or so. Not everything, just pick one thing that is obvious, like an end table. No one will venture far enough in the room to look at everything else and won't notice the piles of dust behind stuff as long as they see you dust that end table.
3. If you leave piles of clothing on the floor it will make it harder for anyone to get close to those dusty things, buying you more time with the whole not dusting thing.
4. If you need a place to hide your playboy magazines you can tear a hole in the bottom of the loveseat. That one became a necessity when I found them hid under the loveseat and opened them all up to the centerfold and displayed them on his dresser, just so he knew I had found them.
5. When your host has cute little curtains that tie back on the sides feel free to jerk the ties out and throw them down SOMEWHERE so the sun won't get in your eyes when you want to sleep until 3 PM. When your host finally finds the tiebacks and puts them back make sure the next time you jerk on them so hard the curtain rod bends in the middle and then hide the tie backs so no one can ever put them up again.....until you move out and they are found under the couch.
6. Instead of working yourself to death and walking around the corner to the kitchen garbage can just stuff your water bottles, lunch cake wrappers and various packaging for items you buy under the love seat and couch. It can't hurt anything if no one can see it...can it?
Those are my decorating tips for today. I'm going back in that room as soon as the carpet dries so wish me luck.