For sale....

I think I may have mentioned before that we have way too many vehicles. We have four drivers in our family...and 6 vehicles. My car insurance bill is almost equal to my house payment. When our son moved out we kept him on our car insurance because he would have had to pay an astronomical amount to get insurance himself, and his car is in our name. The vehicles we have right now are 1. Ford windstar 2. Ford explorer 3. Ford F150 4 and 5. 2- Ford zx2's (do you see any pattern here?) and 6 a Ford Taurus, which was wrecked and was supposed to be fixed so I could drive it....in this lifetime. I have been waiting for my husband to tell his little old ladies to buzz off for awhile find a little time to fix the Taurus up for me. He has tried lately to get it finished and we did buy most of the parts and he put a few on. I really want him to finish it so I can get rid of this Windstar I drive to work every... single.... day. To say that this mini van is a lemon would be an understatement. We bought it when the nearest salvage yard fixed it up for one of the employees and he decided he didn't want it. When we bought it about 5 years ago we had 2 young teenagers who each took friends everywhere we went. We had, on occasion, put my husband in the back hatch of the Explorer when we all went somewhere because of the lack of room and the fact we wanted all kids to have a seatbelt. Now I'm trying to write an ad that would sell my very few miles to the gallon mini van....if you can think of any way to make it better please let me know.
For sale...2000 Ford Windstar. Salvage title. Used to have a small transmission leak, now it just runs straight out a couple of hours after you fill it up(because my husband said "don't worry, it can pull a boat). Great dual air conditioners that work for about 2 weeks after you charge it....then you must charge it again. Dual am/fm/cd/cassette system that works fine....it just flips itself to CD when your favorite song is on the radio, but flips itself back in time for the end of the song.....sometimes. The people who rebuilt it just put putty on the roof and painted it....you won't even notice the fact it came loose unless it rains, and then the water runs to the second row seats so driver stays dry. The inside lighting is great, and sometimes it looks like a disco going down the road because when it gets in a mood the lights flicker off and on over and over and over. Sometimes I look outside at night and the lights in the van are flashing. I'm not sure if the driver who was in the car when it wrecked is still there...playing games with my mind or if the wires have a short in them that only acts up once in a while. There is a small miss while driving, but you don't notice it unless you are going slow, which I very seldom do. The electric door locks work, or at least most of them do. The passenger front door lock doesn't work, but you can climb over the drivers seat, stick your butt in the air for all going by to see and unlock it by hand. The side door locks work when they want to....and sometimes they don't. The clear coat that was put on when it was repainted is slowly peeling off. This van gets some crappy gas mileage. It costs about 120.00 to fill it up and you can drive it for a very little while on that. Please call for appointment....or the keys may be in it with a full tank of gas and I promise not to come outside if I hear anyone around it......take your pick.